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8/10/02: Yesterday we had a milestone occur. I got Chance to drink plain ol' water! I shouldn't say I did. She, as usual, wanted nothing to do with it, UNTIL the pup started drinking. Then Chance decided she'd better drink it or Pookey was going to get it all, hehehe. She is drinking it well today also. Since Chance is getting her milk replacer in the form of pellets mixed with a bit of grain, there is no reason to be still drinking the milk too.
Now today Chance walked a longggg way- clear down by the roundpen. Hubby and I were working with the two weanlings, and Chance watched with a lot of interest. Dave led our filly over, where the two little girls nickered to each other, sniffed noses, and were even mouthing to one another. It was great! Chance is pooped out bigtime, but I think she had a great day.
She started sounding a little rattly again this morning, so I will talk to the vet tomorrow. We're almost done with these antibiotics, so if the pneumonia is still hanging on we'll need to do something. More of the same antibiotics, new kind, I don't know. I'll see what the vet has to say. Her temp is normal, so that's a good sign. I think that's about all the new news for today!
8/11/02: I'm afraid I got bad news from the vet today. Three of Chance's joints were feverish, so we took her in this morning. He said that these joints went through bouts with the septicaemia right at the beginning too. She now has fusing in all four legs, as well as arthritis setting in. I asked him about any surgeries, or anything that can fix her, assuming for a moment that I was a millionaire. The vet said that there is nothing that can be done. NOTHING. That word had some impact. My heart hit the floor.
Out of all the medicines available, he said the best for maintaining pain relief and swelling is plain aspirin. So we have started Chance on that again, and we'll just see if and how long it helps. The fusing and arthritis is happening so fast. I didn't want it to happen so soon. I don't want Chance to hurt all the time. And I don't want to lose her yet. I wasn't ready to start thinking about the inevitable this early. I'm rambling now. 'Scuse me while I grab more Kleenex...
8/13/02: Okay, I am getting my head out of my rear a bit now. People have been suggesting ideas, and something may be worth a try. But I need everyone's help. Do you know of a reputable Equine Med school or clinic in your area? We are thinking maybe someone would be willing to donate their time/services to at least checking Chance out. We really need something in the midwest, as close to Kansas City as possible. As I can't drive, I need hubby to take Chance and I to whoever would maybe see her. He can't take a lot of time of from work. Plus travel expense will be hard enough to work out. BUT- maybe we can all put our heads together and come up with someone who would at least look Chance over, maybe even try something for her. If you know of a place I can call, write a letter to or email, please email any info to me. - d_l_e_x2@amarugiahorse.com - There just has to be someone who is willing to at least check her out and see if they can maybe try to do something for her. I just feel that I have to try everything I can before calling it quits. Chance deserves that. Chance and I need everyone's help here! So please please wrack your brain, see if you can think of anyone, maybe even talk to your vet or local Equine med school. Let's find someone willing to donate time to her (and hopefully services!). IF we can find a place or places willing to see her, especially if it is a longgg way from our home, maybe someone would be willing to help me get her and I there or something? Just trying to think or anything I can! Though I am already getting around 50 emails a day about Chance, I expect to get a million emails by posting this request. So to anyone who writes me, please be patient if it takes me a bit to answer. But I will read EVERY one and will explore every idea. And I will write back.
I just got to thinking too, if my email fills fast it may start bouncing emails back. So here is my other email addy: 2dle@casstel.net.
8/14/02: I talked to a vet yesterday, from the equine department of a Veterinary College. She agreed with our vet that there is nothing more than can be done to help Chance. I've decided that if I hear the same from a couple more vets I will have to accept that there is nothing that will help. So many people have had great ideas, and found names and numbers for me, to contact vets all over the USA and Canada. I will be spending the day on the phone. If you've never visited Chance's message board, now is a great time. There has been such an outpouring of love and support for her. The posts from folks have just been wonderful.
On another note, since yesterday Chance has gotten up several times on her own, walked to where she wanted to go, then laid back down and started grazing. This has been while she was alone, and we were watching out the window. The first time the other foals were grazing near the fenceline, and Chance got up and moved herself closer to the fence. This is such a "catch-22." Finally Chance is starting to get around on her own, but it is inflaming the bad joints, causing them to swell and hurt. I have such mixed feelings. But my personal conclusion is this. Even though her walking around is taking her down quicker, at least she is getting to experience what a horse is meant to experience before she goes. The aspirin is helping with swelling and pain, buying Chance some time to finally get to be a horse. Her time is getting short, and it won't be long before I have to made THE decision. But at least I know this was not "all for nothing."
Still holding out for a miracle but being realistic. Such a hard balancing act.
8/15/02: We will be taking Chance in to the clinic Saturday morning. It's time. We will bring her back home and bury her here on the place.
8/16/02: Here it is Friday night, 11:00pm. I always use to tell my kids, on long car trips, that the sooner they went to sleep, the sooner we would get there. And it worked everytime. Now I don't want to sleep, because tomorrow morning will be here in a blink. I can handle this, right? I'm going to miss Chance so much. That's so selfish of me. God needs her, and I need to appreciate that. Not doing so good tonight though...
8/17/02: Chance crossed over this morning at 9:35am. She went quietly to sleep in my lap, as she has done so many times before. After she went to sleep I felt the breath sucked from my lungs. I believe it was Chance taking one big gulp of air and heading across the Rainbow Bridge at a dead run.
THANK YOU to the thousands who have let Chance steal a piece of your hearts. With the little bit of strength she took from each of us, I know she is now powerfully running, bucking, and rolling in the green pastures of heaven. Making God giggle at her antics, I'm sure! Below are the last photos I took of Chance, taken on the 15th. A lot of you have asked to post photos of Chance on your sites. You have permission to use her pictures for personal use.
Please just let me know, so I can visit your sites and see Chance in so many places. Thank you...
December 22, 2003 UPDATE:
As many of you know, Chance's story is now out, in condensed form, in the new CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE HORSE LOVERS' SOUL book. It's a collection of wonderful equine-related short stories and a "must have" book. Chance's story is called "Chance Of A Lifetime."
Here it is over a year after Chance's passing, and checking my website stats I see that MANY people are still coming here and reading of her short journey in life. Thank you to all who are keeping Chance's memory alive. I can't tell you what it means to me to see that she is still touching and warming folks' hearts.
I still think of her nearly everyday, occasionally walk down to her grave, and am amazed that it still brings tears to my eyes and puts a smile to my face. Wow, what an impact that filly had on me.
There have been many times that I wondered if it was time to remove Chance's story from the website. Guess I'm just not ready for the finality of that. So for now it stays....
Happy Holidays to everyone! If you get the chance,
please leave a note on the message board, and let me know you were here!
Denise
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